Builder or Breaker
As I sat on a grassy embankment, my salt-encrusted skin under attack from mosquitoes and horseflies, my legs felt like fast-set cement had replaced blood and muscles. Waves of nausea. Empty, just plain empty.
Those were just a few feelings running through my mind and body when I captured the above image. I was, as is clear to see in the picture, a mere 2km from the summit of what many would consider a ‘bucket list’ climb, the rather imposing Col du Galibier. After 28 odd km of going up, I was so close to the end, yet I sat on the side of the road feeling depleted. Many of you may have experienced this ‘wall’; not a fun place to be.
As I sat there on the side of the road riding the waves of nausea interrupted sporadically by a splash of self-pity a strange thing started to happen.
This post is not, however, about the effects of such a climb. Instead, this article describes the lessons that were delivered to me at that moment. That’s what cycling is to me, a way to not only stay physically fit but also regularly exercise one’s conscious and unconscious mind. I choose to see lessons or learning experiences whenever or wherever I might find myself. The lessons on this particular day were numerous, and I may have to revisit this in another post. But for now, I want to concentrate on one lesson or rather a realisation.
As I sat there on the side of the road riding the waves of nausea interrupted sporadically by a splash of self-pity, a strange thing started to happen. I began to sense something resembling positivity for some seemingly unknown reason. That’s right, amongst these waves of nausea, these whirlpools of self-doubt, a little sailboat of positivity was bravely taking on the vortex before it.
Now I know this all sounds very dramatic, but I can assure you that sitting on the side of the road at a high altitude, suffering from exhaustion while wearing lycra can take a man to a dark place! Ok, so back to that upwelling of positivity. Being the famous climb it was and a weekend, many other riders attempted to conquer Galibier that day. The fact that these robots were still upright and riding past me indicated a level of preparation beyond my comprehension (or they had just remembered to eat and drink properly); aside, there was something about these fellow lycra-clad gradient warriors. Almost without fail, as each rider rode past me, they would take a moment to look over and pass some words of encouragement my way. They knew exactly what it took to get that far up the mountain, and they pictured themselves on the side of the road that close to the finish imagining how it would feel. One by one, they would sail past — “Allez”, “Andiamo”, “Come on mate, nearly there” and with each word of encouragement, I felt the will inside me growing. I knew I would not give up; I had come too far. I was going to get back on my bike and finish that final 2 km to the top, which I did…eventually.
If I am honest, it was not until I was lying in my bed that evening that the effects of those other riders’ words and the realisations of the day’s experience washed over me. I realised that in life, there are people who break you down and people who build you up. Do you know the kind? Like energy vampires, they seem to drain you; they always seem to have negative things to say…glass half empty. Then you have the builders, whose mere presence is enough to energise you. You feel like you can take on anything when you are around them. It’s almost as if you feel lighter because, in a way, you are — these people are lifting you. Take those folk on the mountainside that day. We shared a common goal and struggle, and in doing so, our energies and ideals were aligned even if only for a moment. We were in it together… at that moment, they were my builders.
The moral of the story? Well, it might not be as apparent as you think. Sure we should surround ourselves with people that build us up instead of breaking us down; that’s the easy part to figure out. But life doesn’t always work like that and sometimes we may feel like we don’t have a choice, that we are ‘stuck’ with these negative influences. Ahh but those who know me know that I believe there is ALWAYS a choice. If we find ourselves surrounded by a breaker, try to find a lesson in the situation instead. Is there something in this person that reminds you of yourself or someone else close to you? Perhaps seeing this ‘breaker’ behaviour from another angle can better help you understand yourself, a loved one, or a colleague at work. Instead, choose to use the situation as a learning experience, an opportunity to practice patience, and an opportunity for growth.
So I leave you with this. The next time you are stuck in a breaker’s presence, instead of feeling trapped or frustrated, choose another way. Instead, choose compassion; choose to be grateful for the experience presented to you.
Choose to be a builder!